Scene: It’s eight in the morning, George is reading over the latest bit of her work in progress that The Kraken has given her feedback on. George: (Screaming from the most primal depths of the deep) AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHThe Kraken: (Looks up from his book, expression mild) What?George: You put TWO Question marks in a row in a comment in my manuscript. We talked about this! When you query something, just use
Scene: It’s Sunday arvo, George and The Kraken have just eaten all the scones in a picturesque little farm shop and are tootling home. The topic of conversation is what would each of us do if we had 20billion dollars to do anything with. George: (Spotting a silver Aston Martin DB11 zooming ahead on windy picturesque Scottish mountain road.) Is seeing that car in this setting doing anything yummy to
Scene: It’s first thing in the morning and The Kraken is nesting in an armchair in George’s study, reading a book while snorting, snuffling and scratching. George had just come downstairs ready to go out.The Kraken: (Looking up from his book.) You’re pretty today.George: Aww. Thanks.The Kraken: That’s a very… sensible skirt…Very… practical.George: Is that meant to be a compliment? The Kraken: (Now pulling an impersonation of Rodin’s The Thinker) Yeah.
Scene: A cranky DHL dude drops package in random place near doorstep after ringing bell four times and then not waiting for anyone to come to the door. The Kraken Collects. The Kraken: (Having been woken from his slumber by the doorbell.) BLARG George: (Coming downstairs) What is it?” The Kraken: (Inspecting package like it could hold high explosives) Clothes. For you. George: Ohh great. (Rips parcel open. Black dress
Scene: George is on her second cup of tea of the morning and is on a roll swearing at all the typos she’s written in her draft the night before. It’s six in the morning, dark outside, the proximity cat is laying at her feet pretending to be fluffy. The Kraken: (From her study door) BLARGH George: You’re up! Why are you up right now? It’s too early. The Kraken: