Scene: It’s 10am in a café. George and The Kraken are having cake and coffee to celebrate the California Dreaming launch this week. It’s sunny outside, the birds are singing, the people at the next table are laughing and The Kraken is under-caffeinated.

George: (Sitting back and rubbing cake-filled tummy) I have a question for you.
The Kraken: (Looking suspicious) Define the parameters of “question.”
George: It’s more like a fun task really. Just for the hell of it, why don’t you tell me one thing you’d like to have achieved by the end of this year.
The Kraken: (Hunching over his espresso like Gollum holding The Ring) Why?
George: Because goals mean hope. You can have something to look forward to!
The Kraken: (Glowering) Stop oppressing me with your hope. My brain hasn’t woken up yet. You’re not talking about hope, you’re talking about a guilt obligation.
George: Goals aren’t guilt obligations! They’re positive. Something to look forward to!
The Kraken: Eh. You say tomato, I say tomahto. You say potato, I say existential dread. But okay, okay, I’ll humour you. I hope…
George: Yes?!
The Kraken: For another coffee. I’ve finished this one.