Conversation with The Kraken: My Tentacles Are Melting!
Scene: George is on her second cup of tea of the morning and is on a roll swearing at all the typos she’s written in her draft the night before. It’s six in the morning, dark outside, the proximity cat is laying at her feet pretending to be fluffy.
The Kraken: (From her study door) BLARGH
George: You’re up! Why are you up right now? It’s too early.
The Kraken: It’s raining!
The Kraken: (Trying to look out George’s study window at the rain on the snow… and the snow-tentacle-beasties out on the lawn.) My Kraken’s melting. I had to see it before it went!
George: It’s dark! What are you going to do, go outside in -3 degrees to look at a tentacle snowman?
The Kraken: Yes! (Lummoxes himself to the front door and opens it) Jesus Christ it’s cold!
George: (yelling from study, already shivering from Baltic blast) You gonna put a coat or something on? And close the front door!
The Kraken: It’s seriously cold.
George: Yep. Noticed. Close the front door.
The Kraken: I think one tentacle’s melted. The victims have all turned to puddles. But I can’t see the rest.
George: Because it’s dark and cold. You so haven’t woken up yet have you? And close the front door.
The Kraken: (Yawns with the kind of volume the Jurassic Park T-Rex managed on a good day) I’m going back to bed. It’s too cold to be up.
George: Great. Now close the front door.
The Kraken: Night night. (Finally closes the front door now that the house is five degrees colder. Can soon be heard telling the cat who has raced upstairs to lie in his warm spot on the bed how fluffy it is.)