George: (Has just received the most comfortablest, fluffiest pair of house pants ever known to humanity in the mail. Promptly whacks on said article and marvels at how she now has a bottom half softer than unicorn feathers.)

The Kraken (Walking by): There will be no yiffing in this house.

George: (Still marvelling at fluffy majesty) Yiffing? What’s yiffing?

The Kraken: Furry sex.

George: (Pants forgotten due to epic shock) How do you know that? I don’t know that. I’m supposed to be the one who knows stuff like that! Awesome wrongness is my area of expertise, random science facts are yours! You can’t just KNOW what furry sex is called!

The Kraken: Everyone knows what yiffing is.

George: I don’t! And these AREN’T yiffing pants! They’re house pants. Comfortable, warm soft, fluffy house pants. Have you felt how fluffy they are? They’re super fluffy. There is nothing sexy about these pants. They are for stroking lovingly while drinking tea. Not for shenanigans.

The Kraken: (Straight face) Stroking?

George: Go away and science something. In your boring, uncomfortable jeans. (Promptly goes online to find out if there’s a weird term for a space exploration fetish for later ammunition…)

By the way, if anyone’s interested, they’re Betabrand Vagamas, and they’re AWESOME.